喜歡十一月的綿綿雨季。
而十二月卻總讓我惆悵。
從來它不為誰放慢腳步。
我拼命地跑卻總是遲到。

the launch of sadako fashion diary

i'll try to make it a long-run fashion diary project. i try... >:-[

a macaron that is not a macaron.

i'm not a fan of macaron. but this particular one i just had was way better than the expensive one i had tasted at a macaron specialist shop in Prague (my sister's idea). i feel weird today, not particularly positive nor negative but i guess it marks one of the milestones in life. rather...i'm happy for my friends. all of us are entering into another chapter. the impact of the moving train of life is getting clearer. which, it has nothing to do with this macaron. i'm looking forward to my next trip. :-)

完空。

吃完了蛋腦袋呈現空白狀態雙眼毫無焦距地直視前方而呼吸也變緩慢下來的我。。。 想睡。

not too scientific not too expressive.

bruce lee's such a charismatic man.

美妙關係。

怎麽說呢。
想到再說。

noody's away (from home) day.

natural born olympic swimmer.

the owner who's totally toasted/burnt since his recent obsession of basking himself under the sun and his first time wearing a sleeveless out after one decade.

the talented chef in the middle, the beautiful muse on the left and myself on the right.

i only dare to have a brief bonding moment with noody after he has calmed down from his over-excitement. while the beautiful muse having his own moment next to us.



noody knows the best of how to "live the moment". now, all that matters to him is the volley ball bouncing in the air.

i tried to imagine that i have a dog like nooody.



i enjoyed the moments with the guys yesterday, although i donno for how long more we can share our time like this. i secretly hope that we can make it until we are really old.

sis is here.

i've been living alone for almost 5 years, my sis has come join me after wrapping up her chapters in london in late october. a change for my life but an even much bigger change for hers. i do wish her all the best here.

siem reap sisters trip

before december ends too soon, i must post about this trip made in early november. it was a super happy blast for all of us! really hope we can make such gathering trip as an annual event...

possess less part II :: zakka

couldn't resist cute zakka and have been collecting randomly since my late 10s. some are lovely gifts from friend with sentimental value. but to execute a simpler life from inside out, i'll keep some of the above and i shall not buy anymore zakka. at least not until i have my own house. dear friends, really appreciate your love but please don't give me anything like that anymore. :-)

自嗨的手制糕點特寫。

it's officially december!

in the morning of the 1st day of december, i ate this mushroom-shaped bun with, disappointingly and unbelievably, ONLY one tiny mushroom within it. despite the poor content, the bun itself was great. still, it's wonderful. by the way, what i wanted to say is... gosh! time wheel is speeding like nobody's business!

城堡。

我拖著行李緩慢地走在雪白的沙地上，空氣是涼的。
眼前不遠處有一座很宏偉很高但比例上來說是有點瘦的阿拉丁城堡。
就像主題歡樂公園里看得見的那種卡通神話式的設計，
城堡不同的部分漆上了各種神秘的藍。
從它面前經過時，感覺自己像一只渺小的螞蟻。
抬起頭往上一望，耀眼的陽光透過那洋蔥形的屋頂洒入眼廉。

啊，暈眩。

我在哪裡？

轉頭望另一邊，更遠些有一座百色摩天樓，形如一支開瓶器插在沙地上。
應該是當地的地標吧，可是我還是摸索不出來這是什麽地方。
更遠方還有幾座巨大瘦瘦高高的建築物，但我忘了它們的外形設計，
只記得建築物之間就只有純淨的白沙，沒別的行人或物體，
視線所及就只有大片的藍與白，很攝人很宏偉很壯觀很美很。。。安靜。

噢，對了，我身邊好像還有一個旅伴，我們邊驚嘆邊拖著行李越過了
這個神聖（因為建築物很宏偉）又神秘（因為不見半個人影）的區域，
漸漸地來到一片郊區，還是沒看見半個人影，只隱約聽到狗吠聲，
感覺隨時會不知從哪衝出來咬人。
不知道為什麼我們會認為在眼前的這棟樓就是我們的旅館。
里面沒人。 我們自行選了間房放下了行李。

時間也靠近傍晚了。

我睜開了眼。

last toe.

leasson learnt: the last toe is tiny but it plays very important role in balancing your whole body while walking. i tried to pretend that the pain's not there at all so that i could walk naturally without having other leg muscles working extra hard to compensate. but i failed because it still hurts. going to travel soon and i don't wanna lose to this little accident.

hermit.

第一次有這種症狀時是在日本念書時。當時是秋天吧。我把自己鎖在房里像癱了似地躺著，隔壁的兩個朋友猛打電話給我都不接，猛敲門都不開，就當我不在房里。若走在路上看見前方迎來個認識的，我馬上掉頭走。不想與任何人接觸，對任何事都不感興趣。當時自己也不明白為什麽這麽做。

後來的生活陸續有出現這種狀況。可是後來我無意間讀到一些資訊而明白了那是為什麽。那是輕微幽鬱症的症狀。不想讓人看見這一面所以躲起來了。不想讓聲音不小心透露出去，所以不接電話。活在都市里的大家都有這種經驗吧。

昨天，我躺了一整天。沒接電話。沒做什麽。

可以說我懶。明明是星期天，為什麽不去處理那一堆髒衣服，還有地上的塵該掃了廁所該洗了桌子該抹了書該整理了。

可是我一直閉著眼。閉眼中我睡了又醒。我依然閉著眼。好像只要閉著眼就能逃離現實。
左腦這時說，好，我只準你這麽沒出息地墮落到今晚。明天你給我好好做人。
右腦接著說，我很累。我他馬的太拼了。讓我墮落一下。明天起來我好好做人。

千萬，我不能失去對生命的熱誠。

太陽 • 月亮 • 上升

很久以前就聽說過,但直到最近才去探討什麽是太陽星座月亮星座與上升星座。才明白為什麽以前總不能認同我所屬的太陽星座所說的大部分特質。簡單來說，發現原來宅女是我的太陽星座特質，愛自由遠飛旅行是我的月亮星座特質，而我筆下陰暗神秘帶點邪惡的alter ego, Sophie Black, 則是我的上升星座特質。what a clashing combo.  膚淺地總結，聽起來我好像是一個邪惡又愛遠走高飛的宅女。啊，不。

the final view by seba jun

左腦 • 右腦

右腦很想兩袖清風地飛到遠遠去，
逃離不斷提醒她無情現實的左腦。
一向來懶惰的左腦其實並不想動，
但現在看來不得不由她掌控大局，
不然天真的右腦會被現實給催毀。
右腦她不想被控制也不想被催毀，
所以才想兩袖清風地飛到遠遠去。

排毒。

早上睜開了眼，天是陰的空氣是濕的。從喉嚨到肚子里有一種怪怪的感覺。這種感覺對我來說並不陌生。上次有這種感覺時，我身在一口深井里。這下可麻煩了，因為那是一種毒。千萬要冷靜。因為只能自救。經驗告訴我，必須在毒變得更毒並污染其他部分之前，把它硬吞下去並化為屁噗的一聲給放掉。

the finishing line

finally. thanks so much to those who lent me a helping hand. i have burnt and given all my love and passion to this baby more than i could. although it's hard to part with my new born baby. whatever happens after this, i'll leave it to fate. next, what shall i do?

the look of tiredness.

the finishing line is... i hope... not too far.

super in love with toe

變化如常。

有些變化看起來沒什麽改變。
有些改變不覺得有什麽變化。
出現。消失。如常。向前走。

see you in the dark.

i'm attracted to dark things but i'm afraid of watching horror movies and yet i'm attracted to the treatment of horror movie posters. maybe turning myself into one can help get rid of the fear in me.

做著做著。

當你每天埋頭猛做，做著做著做著做著做著你會懷疑自己他嗎的為了什麽。這個為了什麽在這個時侯很重要，因為這個什麽就是在你做得想死的時候推動你繼續做到終點。眼看著遙遠的前方這時你長嘆一聲停下來觀想一下（觀想兩下，三下，甚至很多下都行）站在那終點上美好的情景（起碼比你做得想死的時候美好），然後再振作起來硬擠出更多力氣去繼續做著做著做著做著做到終點。噢，別忘了看看路邊的風景。

blessings that we can't recognise.

A lion came across a group of cats having a chat. “I’m going to devour them,” he thought.

But then an odd feeling of calm came over him. And he decided to sit down with them and pay attention to what they were saying.

- Good God! – said one of the cats, without noticing the lion’s presence. – We have prayed all afternoon! We asked for the skies to rain mice on us!

- And so far nothing has happened! – said another. – I wonder if the Lord really exists.

The skies remained mute. And the cats lost their faith.

The lion rose and went on his way, thinking: “funny how things are. I was going to kill those animals, but God stopped me. And even so, they stopped believing in divine grace. They were so worried about what was missing that they did not even notice the protection they were given.”

more from Pablo Coelho's blog.

the bright side.

from now until then,
i should just focus
on sewing and reading.
forget about the issue of
earning no bread & butter.

武俠。

喜歡武俠里的血，黑暗。
環繞死肉的蒼蠅，寫實。
一張髒兮兮的臉，魅力。
她的一句晚上見，幸福。

時間飛逝過了那麽久我仍還沒思索出來。
這樣不顧一切不斷去旅行是不是很過份。

應該不會很過份。哈。

inevitable plastic!

went to super mart with two tote bags today. YET i still ended up bringing back a lot of plastic! bread, vege, milk, toilet rolls, detergent... every single item i bought was packed in plastic! sigh...

...and our mother earth has been enduring it quietly

Some sad articles about what we have done to mother earth:

"The ocean is now an endless trail of trash floating in the middle of the Pacific: water bottles, plastic crates, disposable diapers, bath toys, cigarette lighters, tampon applicators (styrofoam, too); a veritable buffet of convenience culture.”

"The discovery in 2002 was a wake-up call for marine scientists, who realised that plastic bags and other waste were one of the biggest threats to the whales, dolphins and turtles swimming around our shores. The minke was found on the Normandy coast. At first, it was assumed she had died of natural causes. When her stomach was cut open, scientists were amazed to find nearly two pounds of plastic bags, eaten by mistake as she searched for food. The 2lb haul included two plastic bags from English supermarkets, seven transparent plastic bags, and fragments from seven dustbin bags. In an ironic twist, one of the bags found in the gut of the dead whale appears to read: "We support good farm animal welfare." Most worrying of all, there was no proper food in her stomach. "

And...plastic garbage found in dead whale's stomach too...

And we have Great Pacific Garbage Patch (or Pacific Trash Vortex), which is is a gyre of marine litter formed by pelagic plastics, chemical sludge etc, in the central North Pacific Ocean. And a recent research sponsored by the National Science Foundation suggests the affected area may be twice the size of Texas!!!

Gosh! Since I had such awareness, I've started trying my best not to take any plastic carrier while making any purchase but I realised it's hard to avoid consuming plastic in our daily life. even i use my eco shopping bag for supermarket shopping, fruits like strawberries, kiwi, or vege are all packed in plastic. many items at our home are made of plastic.

A plastic bag that we use only for a short while takes 400 years to be dissolves. I really can't foresee how much longer our mother earth can take in such shit anymore...

Oh well... let's try not to take plastic bag when we make any purchase. I guess that's the least we can do for our mother earth. Plastic is suffocating!