終於到了大蘋果。好累喔。

睡睡睡睡睡睡睡睡睡睡。。。

今日は楽しかった。 (' u ')

茎。

there's a door here but it will not break
there's a stone there but it won't remain
up there a heaven now but it will not wait
and the lies there the scent of it just too much
so should you saw it once and make it grow
the sweet clematis
let it flower and paint it all of the colors bold
instantly things fall and fade　return to silence
why oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful
dreams of what is real

there's a breath here but it will not break
there's a face there but it won't remain
up there a heaven now but it knows no name
and the stain is the color of red through red
and thus you cannot cry confuse the lies
try to remember when you rise
you take your steps with a strong desire
time goes by a breath it comes like something given
why oh why, why have there nightmares not long expired
the real is but a dream

from now on should it grow and open full
the sweet clematis
flower bold but there's no need for rejoicing more
precious life this life just once it comes just one time
keep it close keep it from ever just leaving you
crying tears confusing fears they are no longer
when i stand i know i'll never be down again
nothing that i need now
once it comes just one time
somehow, somehow, someone, ah...
entry number one........

私は遅かった！

早くこのアルバムをゲットしたい！

「こんなにお芝居を見て泣いたのは、初めてです。あんまりレベルが高くて、あたしみたいなバカな女には理解できないセリフが沢山ありましたけど、涙が止まらなくなったんです。」
「あなた、それでいいのよ。本当にバカな人間だったら、泣きもしないわ。」

merci, moodytwoshoes!

i am really hounoured to be drawn! (' u ')

time is fair to everybody.

不管富貴貧窮，貌美樣衰，幸福倒霉，聰明愚蠢，
歲月對大家是公平的。我承認對於變老感到害怕，
可是最近卻發覺自己不再羨慕比自己年青的女孩。
因為我好不容易才漸漸地了解到一件事．．．
年青的何必取笑人老，因為年青將變老，
年長的不必羨慕青春，因為已曾經有過。
我並不想重復年少青澀迷茫与無知的路。
因為心裡已收藏了10s与20s的我。

紐約別急！

從來我就不怎麼想去美國，因為我討厭他們自大。
可是我快一個人去紐約渡假了！很期待又小害怕！
為什麼是紐約？因為我想做一些跟以前不一樣的事。
拋開成見，開開眼界，尋找靈感，最好能交到新朋友。
其實選紐約的部分原因是阿板在那裡。嘿嘿！
這兩個月來猛趕工就是為了接下來一連串的旅行了！
辛苦過後我要享受人生！現在就是未來！

有些事．．．

我們很想知道但也許
我們永遠都不會知道
而且我們不知道更好
所以就別太好奇了罷
很多什麼都不知的人
都活得好開心不是嗎

有誰知道這是什麼花嗎？

是不是山茶花？很美吧！
------------------
答え：乙女椿！otome tsubaki! 強くて女らしいお花だと思う。好きです。 (' u ')
thanks to kazumi for the answer!

fear.

deep inside my heart i have a fear,
i realised that i'm so used to my fear,
that i can even embrace my fear,
so i wonder if it's still a fear,
maybe i have conquered my fear!
v(' u ')

a lifestyle of being instead of doing.

that's what i want. (' u ')

飢渴。

最近瘋狂愛上讀書，因為書裡真的藏金！

oh.my.god.gorgeous as Reed Danziger!

it just took my breath away! visual orgasm!

今天微風吹，

可是我很忙。哈。

懐かしい日々。

those were our days.

loving lovely.

it melts me and makes my heart ache everytime i hear it. (u . u)

oh my... it's exciting to find something new to read!
by the way, i hope my memory gets better, too. (' u ')

チョッコ。

i never really like cute stuffed toy. when i was small i preferred barbie doll, car/aircraft miniatures as my collection coz i thought they are more sleek and stylo. last friday night, when i opened the present given by kyeli, i saw this stuffed toy, it's the famous mr. bean's bear. i was very touched. although she didn't say anything about the present, i think she is very very sweet. i feel her care and thought for me. she knows what i need. and for the first time, i love a stuffed toy. no, it's not just that. it's now my new companion. its name is chocco. ya, i know, friends at my age are busy singing lullaby to their new born babies, and me... i talk to chocco before i sleep. oh well, we have different paths. (' u ')

"live in the PRESENT. and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."

ただの魔女より、味方の天使に守られる魔女に。だから、笑え！微笑め！ハーハーハー！天使が魔女の側にやって来る。

(' u ')

life dictionary.

T: my dear, i can feel that you are happier now.
t: ya, i think i am. (' u ')
T: see? like what they said, no matter how, it will be over and life moves on.
t: yes, this world won't stop even for a second, regardless anything. we have to keep paddling ourselves above the tide to survive. it's harsh it's cruel and it's tough. standing at this point in life, it's strange to see that thing which weighted so much in the past remains only a vague shadow now, i can hardly believe that it was not my imagination. somehow a part of me feel sad about this yet another part of me feel relieved.
T: i'm glad that you have passed it. but tougher test may yet to come.
t: yes...although it left a scar but it's good news. because a scar means it's over. means the pain has been washed away by numbness and finally one fine day the numbness subsided, too. and a scar is there to remind me what i have experienced and learned. in fact, i'm kind of glad about what had happened. because i wouldn't have learned so much if it didn't happen. i guess it was necessary. a blessing in disguise. maybe everyone has a mission both in our own life and others'. so it happened.
T: what have you learned then?
t: well... a lot. although they are not new because i've heard about those sayings since i was young... but now i've actually experienced them and see the true meanings.
T: tell me.
t: well, there are still a lot about life that i need to know... but, at least, i should always remind myself that every individual has different path, and thus don't compare to others. because things that make others happy may not do the same to me. i'll have my own path at my own pace. now i still can't decide my next destination yet but all i know for now is, at least within my control, i should be more open to any idea or chance that occurs to me since i have my freedom and talent. who knows i might lose them tomorrow. so implement and don't wait. say no to anything uncomfortable, and not waste time on those unworthy. listen more to my instinct because our instinct is our guardian angel.
T: oh guardian angel... (' u ')
t: they say the best way to call an angel is to laugh. i try to give myself a smile every morning i wake up. at least it's a good way to start. and before i sleep, i try not to forget to thank for the day.
T: hahaha... that's not hard to do.
t: haha... and... most importantly, although i still have doubt but i've got to believe...
T: believe in?
t: believe in love. after all, we can't survive without love. because that's what makes human. i was hurt by love, but other loves saved me. fortunately, there are many kinds of love on earth.
T: you're such a lucky one.
t: yes, i am really grateful for that! and now i'm eager to read. i need more wisdom because ignorance and stupidity make sufferings. although there are a lot of vocabs i need to check along my reading, it's fun to find out meanings, just like life.
T: ok i guess you need a good dictionary for now.
t: an e-dictionary!
T: i'll get you one.
t: before you regret, let's go now! haha!
T: i won't regret!

當時我們說我們想。

i love you guys. (' u ')
photos taken by kuanth at Caramel.

make it happen.

yes, i wanna make it happen
and i can make it happen by myself.
what am i waiting for and why am i waiting?
(' u ')

生存。

有一些事情會讓你看了不禁想冷笑。
可是因不干你的事所以你笑了就算，
都不值一提。
人說：
"what didn't kill you makes you stronger,
the side effect is an iron heart"
原來是真的。
雖然一開始沒人想鐵石心腸。
我．．．並不想變鐵石心腸。

tim walker.

saw tim walker's at pris' blog. i fell at first sight. beautiful beautiful beautiful!

i wanna keep the faith but i have doubts.

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education."
~ Wilson Mizner ~

飛びたい。

smile.

watching MJ's memorial on my birthday...
i find this song my best bday gift:

smile, though your heart is aching
smile, even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by...

if you smilewith your fear and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...
light up your face with gladness
hide every trace of sadness
although a tear may be ever so near
that's the time you must keep on trying
smile, what's the use of crying
you'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you'll just...
smile, though your heart is aching
smile, even though it's breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by...

if you smile
through your fear and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
you'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you'll just smile...

that's the time you must keep on trying
smile, what's the use of crying
you'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you'll just smile

神様にお願いします。

私はこれからの人生のなかに
愛と原動力を早くみつけるように　
お祈っております。
ありがとうございます。

so what?

so what
so what
so what
i just
lost interest
in anything...
and i pretend
that i am fine
becoz it's time
to be fine.

"Once all alone
I was lost in a world of strangers
No one to trust
On my own, I was lonely
You suddenly appeared
It was cloudy before but now it's all clear
You took away the fear
And you brought me back to the light

You are the sun
You make me shine
Or more like the stars
That twinkle at night
You are the moon
That glows in my heart
You're my daytime my night time
My world
You are my life

Now I wake up everyday
With this smile upon my face
No more tears, no more pain
Cause you love me
You help me understand
That love is the answer to all that I am
And I, I'm a better man
Since you taught me by sharing your life"

i wish i can sing this from the bottom of my heart one day...

shit. i did it again.

sexy Balmain.

i know i am kind of late, but i love balmain's cut!

my sophie black saw hypercolour.

Despite the extreme pain suffered from that firework blast, i am glad that my lucky Sophie Black saw wonderful hypercolor when she was down in a deep well of hell. that precious colour painted by family & friends with love. (' u ')
(2nd exhibition with 10 other artists in town)

那個年代有誰不曾愛過麥可？

當年被父親罵得狗血淋頭，
因為了麥可
我忍不住花了ＲＭ５０
買了生平第一張ＣＤ。
﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣
i believe you, MJ!
you are the purest!

﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣

"The greatest education in the world is watching the masters at work."

"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."

﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣﹣

like a comet...blazing 'cross the evening sky...gone too soon...
like a rainbow...fading in the twinkling of an eye...gone too soon...
shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright...here one day...gone one night...
like the loss of sunlight...on a cloudy afternoon...gone too soon...
like a castle...built upon a sandy beach...gone too soon...
like a perfect flower...that is just beyond your reach...gone too soon...
born to amuse, to inspire, to delight...here one day...gone one night...
like a sunset...dying with the rising of the moon...gone too soon...
gone too soon...

forgive.

"Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule."

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

~Lewis B. Smedes

oh... i need to forgive. i wanna forgive. i'm still learning how.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength.
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~Lao Tzu~

總覺得。。。

有一些事情需要去做，
或者是遺漏了些什麼，
可我不知道是什麼事。
不知道不知道。。。
到底是什麼？

om....

went to yoga today. feel good. (' u ')

what does this mean?

i realised this when i took this bottle out from my bag after a long day of walking under the sun. what does this mean? too steamy?! too hot?! hidoi!!! they forecast that next month will go up to 35ºc. ('_';) BUT!!! i will not buy air-con!

父親。

爸爸匆匆地來又匆匆地被新加坡的悶与恐怖的悶熱嚇跑了。其間和他吃了兩次晚餐，聊了一些。除了他貫常的大道理，他這次還猛贊他女兒越來越漂亮，臉上還一付像看著自己的作品並且很滿意的表情。我知道他是在安慰他失意的女兒，所以勉強擠出笑容，心裡百感交集。老爸雖然超愛遊山玩水，但他這次來是為了看他女兒，我真的很感動，因為新加坡真的超悶的。他對我說，你忙你的，我自己到處走走。結果他去了植物園与動物園。在家裡猛赶畫的我超想和他去的，雖然一路上可能得听他的大道理，但自從小時候他抱著我去過動物園後，我們就沒再一起去過了。其實要不是他愛美去染黑髮，他早已一頭花花的白髮。但他走路還是很快，我有時還得跨大步赶上他哩。這次他來，過馬路時他還牽了我的手，好奇怪的感覺。讓我不竟想起前男友都很少牽我手過馬路，決定了如果下一個男友自顧自地過馬路而不牽我的手的話就叫他滾開！爸還跟我說我和妹妹這兩個身在外地打拼的女兒，要是哪天受不了，爸永遠歡迎我們回家，他大可以養我們。當然我不會那麼沒出息，但我很感動！那句話說得真man！哈哈。想想老爸雖然脾气又怪又臭，可他真是有肩膀的漢子！然後又聊到他會留財產，我其實沒興趣去听他會留多少留什麼給我們並不想繼續討論，因為。。。太太太奇怪了！！我不想去想像那一天的到來，可是他倒像是看得蠻開的。爸爸從年輕一路吃了不少苦，造就他那讓人又愛又恨的個性，那像定時炸彈的脾气，一時狠一時肉麻一時顛一時好，媽就受了不少苦，也讓我們從小就學會看臉色，後來出來社會發覺其實受益不淺呢。無論如何，雖然從小就急不及待地期盼趕快離家經濟獨立以便不須再忍受他的壞脾气和不要做他當年怒罵時所說的蛀米虫，現在的我看來，雖然爸爸向來表達愛的方式有點狠有點出其不意而且讓孩子們害怕痛恨嫌煩又措手不及，退休後逐漸變得溫柔得來又怪肉麻的老爸真是一個對家人負責的好漢！就讓他繼續講大道理，繼續他的快步向前走，繼續遊山玩水，繼續大口吃飯，繼續肉麻！

＊爸爸離鄉到吉隆坡打拼曾當過羅厘司機，當年太窮沒地方住就睡在羅厘。年輕時還蠻帥的喔。哈。

千萬別回頭看！

“向前走！向前走！如果聽見有誰呼喚你的名字，千萬千萬千萬別回頭看！！那是魔咒！那是幻覺！如果你不小心回頭了，就會前功盡廢，再也出不去了！“ 如此之纇的台詞常在倩女幽魂青蛇白蛇傳之纇的聊齋電影裡听到。一定要這樣叮嚀自己，呼喚的是他螞的回憶，他螞的想念是魔咒是幻覺，千萬別回頭看！大步往前走！

猛吃士多啤哩的日子。

該再去買兩盒回來了。

あっちこっち (2)

また、空です。

i like this building. very feminine, looks like a lady with jewellery, lace and snowflakes.

雞蛋喔（在說什麼？）。

教堂頭上的維多利亞式雲。

眩しい夕日です。お帰りの時間だけど、何処に？

純。

donno how to express why but i just luv kmr.img

來狂歡新的張懸吧！

耶！我今天就去！在不斷更新的城市裡，以新的我，新的態度，我希望我可以。嗯，可以的。

其實我並不。

爸爸在電話裡說我是他的好女兒，因為她的好女兒很獨立很堅強很勇敢讓他感到很驕傲。我的朋友說我很酷很勇敢，因為我敢去做這麼可怕又折磨死人的恐怖手術。也有朋友說我很有才華，又是多個廣告公司愛用的illustrator（是嗎），也覺得我賺很多（是嗎）。也有好多人留言給我贊嘆我畫得有多好多好，期待我的下一張作品（謝謝）。

我應該感恩這一切。可是其實我最大的願望並不是成為獨力勇敢很酷很有才華很出名又賺很多的illustrator。其實我並不勇敢我很害怕很恐懼，晚上都開著小燈睡因為我怕鬼半夜打雷刮大風露台竹簾亂飛我心臟還會狂跳好想躲在誰的懷抱裡。其實我並不想很獨力什麼事都自己一個人去做，更不想一個人看電影旅行，超想有人和我聊天大吃大笑打嗝手拉手拉著狗散散步拍拍照。其實我並不堅強，因為我很容易掉淚寂寞過頭還會抓著多數只有客戶打來催稿的電話一一掃視連絡簿除了在國外或很忙的好友還能打給誰然後悲從中來在房裡大哭得像小孩。其實我很幼稚，裡面的那個傻君拒絕長大可是外面的歲月不留人已過三十。

有時我甚至覺得瘋狂接案子用工作填補失戀的空洞簡直是在浪廢青春，因為工作上的成就並不讓我感到幸福快樂，那種浮名很不切實很膚淺。我好羨慕擁有另一半的人，眼神裡藏不著的關愛与默契，一起活在彼此的世界裡，一起分享現在的生活，一起計划未來，一起變老。。。我不想也不會玩累人的愛情游戲更覺得一夜情沒意義，只要以最真誠最單純直接簡單的方式與愛的人一起分享一起分擔互相扶持鼓勵。雖然不是賺超多金可是我願意少賺些或少些才華來換一個這樣的伴。可是現實中的愛情並不公平的，即使你很努力一頭栽進去以最真誠單純直接簡單的方式去愛他為他煮飯為他按摸為他熬夜為他開心為他擔心為他拼命為他溫柔為他流淚為他失眠對他好得不得了，也不一定換得好成績，反而忘了愛自己。所以我羨慕擁有另一半又很願意成為彼此生活重要部分又看見並珍惜欣賞彼此的美的couple。而這樣羨慕著他們還渴望會發生在自己身上的我是不是想得太美了？有個為愛情而曾經遍體鱗傷的好朋友說她這一世都會單身因為她已想像不到自己与一個男人可以一起吃晚餐簡簡單單地在家裡看ＤＶＤ（還是她已不敢憧憬）。還說也許不是每個人都會遇上真愛的。我聽了很心疼。因為第一我們都追求遇上真愛，第二也許真的不是每個人都能那麼幸運會遇上真愛。有時候，不，最近越來越多時候，我覺得很害怕。我不知道這樣一個人撐著生活究竟還要過多久。更悲觀的時候會懷疑如果不小心在家死了三天會被發現嗎。我和獨居老人的分別只差於我比較年輕不會暴斃有時會出出門吸吸外面的空气。

我在說什麼了。這他媽的太悲觀了吧會嚇走人好不好。可是我不想裝酷。大家都在耍酷無所謂扮大方的今天，那些在clubbing時狂喝狂跳狂拋眼神的不都是因為怕寂寞嗎，那些整天挂在網上的不都是因為怕寂寞嗎，那些招妓的不都是因為怕寂寞嗎（也許好色的居多），那些在假日不知做啥所以不自覺回到office的工作狂不都是因為怕寂寞嗎。

天，我在說啥。

我知道。我知道。並沒比那些那些還有那些慘。
我知道。我知道。人要望前看要獨立要堅強要勇敢要樂觀要正面要拼。。。
李說我很有才華也許i'm meant for something bigger.
其實我並不是有野心的人。而且我知道的不多。
而且我他媽的已經一個人努力很久了。好累。
對不起我並不常說粗口，可是這裡只有他媽的粗口能表達那種那種那種怎麼說。。。那種感覺嗎。
可以兩個人一起努力嗎。
我只要簡單的幸福。
我只想做個小女人，有人用手摸模我的頭，疼一疼我，給我加油和奮斗的力量。
但現在看來這都好像是不可能的超級奢侈。

到此。繼續像白老鼠一樣赶著生活。

快救救我。。。沒人嗎？

i want rolleiflex.

やるぞ！

沉默是需要很大的力量的。

因為我只能保持沉默只能往內暴發我修養未夠路還很漫長感謝賜此考驗

过期。

"不知道从什么时候开始，在每个东西上面都有一个日子，秋刀鱼会过期，肉罐头会过期，连保鲜纸都会过期，我开始怀疑，在这个世界上，还有什么东西是不会过期的？"
突然好懷念重慶森林。

思念是一种病。

当你在穿山越岭的另一边︱我在孤独的路上没有尽头︱一辈子有多少的来不及︱发现已经失去︱最重要的东西︱恍然大悟早已远去︱为何总是在犯错之后︱才肯相信错的是自己︱他们说这就是人生︱试著体会试著忍住眼泪︱还是躲不开应该有的情绪︱我不会奢求世界停止转动︱我知道逃避一点都没有用︱只是这段时间里尤其在夜里︱还是会想起难忘的事情︱我想我的思念是一种病︱久久不能痊愈︱当你在穿山越岭的另一边︱我在孤独的路上没有尽头︱时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸︱却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息︱汲汲营营︱忘记身边的人需要爱和关心︱藉口总是拉远了距离︱不知不觉无声无息︱我们总是在抱怨事与愿违︱却不愿意回头看看自己︱想想自己到底做了甚黱蠢事情︱也许是上帝给我一个试炼︱只是这伤口需要花点时间︱只是会想念过去的一切︱那些人事物会离我远去︱而我们终究也会远离︱变成回忆︱oh 思念是一种病︱oh 思念是一种病一种病︱多久没有说我爱你︱多久没有拥抱你所爱的人︱当这个世界不在那黱美好︱只有爱可以让他更好︱我相信一切都来得及︱别管那些纷纷扰扰︱别让不开心的事停下了脚步︱就怕你不说就怕你不做︱别让遗憾继续一切都来得及。

媽媽。

對不起，我是有點固執。
可是，我愛你。
只希望你別只想著對孩子好，
對自己也要好一點啊。

寫得好賤喔！

靠！我喜歡！

長過ぎ！

ひとり放題っていつまで？！

magical majolica majorca!

i love this! まるで魔法です！

美好的事。重要的事。

"從前認為是重要的事，現在反而覺得不是那麼特別的事。在每一段時光當中，我不去評斷好或不好，就是去渡過去感受就好。有時候看起來不幸運的事，其實是支援未來的幸福，也因為這件事受到其他人的幫忙，感受到人情溫暖。有時候對自己來說是好的事，但其實對旁人造成很大的困擾，這樣來說也不是一件好事了。現在的我覺得重要的就是珍惜自己的感受，享受活著的感覺。“ ﹣皆川 明

どうもありがとうございました。

素晴らしい日々を送らせてくれて、
感謝してます。(' u ')
thank you very much!
terima kasih!
感謝您！
(' u ')

everything is new.

i hate changing new phone but i got a new one, sadly i'm not sure if i should shift his number into my new phone. or maybe even this doubt is extra. the number has been in my mind for so long anyway...however...slowly but surely... (' u ')

sophie black & roses.

a surprise to me that sophie black looks perfect with pink roses! (' u ')
been thinking of how to express for sophie lately... figuring out how to put her together with new elements...

上野芝。

２０００年、近所に散歩してた時に撮った。あの時自分の影を写真に入れて撮るのはいつもあったものだった。

jewelgraphy.

i am not into buying jewel but somehow i luv jewel in different cuttings. this greeting card designed by Naoko Fukuoka totally got me! (' u ')

超うまい！超うまい！

酷いねわたし！こんなにうまいみそ汁を作られて。。。もう〜自分でも感動しちゃったよ〜もともとみそ汁の作り方は簡単だけど。
我也太酷了吧！隨便亂做也這麼好喝的みそ汁！第一口讓自己感動得不得了！ 看它多晶凝透澈啊！對不起，有點太high，其實みそ汁隨便亂做也能這麼好喝的。

遙遠。

突然感覺遙遠，很好，那表示已走過一段了。我大大地呼了一口气。好不容易。終於。往前，如果說最想的，就是大口咬炸豬排，大口吃拉麵吧！哇靠！

girls' outing.

it's been a very very long time! and finally last weekend i had Huey came all the way to stay over at my place for the weekend. tanoshikatta! hope we can do zoo next time! ('u')

妙な葉っぱだね。

あるお店でzigzag葉っぱがしてる珍しいお花を発見。本物の葉っぱかな。素敵！

あっちこっち。

大好きなHYとあっちこっちけっこう歩いてた。日射しは酷かったけど、お陰で好きな写真を撮れました。

我知道我很健忘。

這照片如果沒記錯，是炎炎夏日中，你在我宿舍房裡幫我拍的吧。也許我當時正要把頭髮弄干。人的某些記憶經過多年會漸漸變得与事實不符。而有多少記憶已從我腦海流逝，我真說不上來。可是有些你和你們為我做過的貼心小事情我真不想不小心忘了，但卻又太瑣碎不能一一寫下。經過這麼多年，雖然像你說的現在已不是從前，要向前看。可是那些無价的回憶与經驗不正是我在這俗世一路跌跌撞撞走來唯一可留下的寶物嗎。曾經不能想像失去後生活怎麼過，失去後才發覺其實也死不了。而且告訴自己下次有幸再得到時要更珍惜。但，再珍惜嘛也不代表永遠不會失去。對方不珍惜也徒然。人各有各覺悟的時辰。不管接下來縱橫交錯的路途中會遇上什麼，健忘的我只不想遺忘某些重要的小事情。此時的我就像個老人不禁感傷懵懂青春的流逝。不過就因為知道時間不留人，所以要學會活在當下。('u')

そのうちに、

私もこんなハッピーな家族をもつから、これから色々な準備しなきゃ！はは！
森 友治 is the lucky guy with very sweet photography of his own family.
visit his ダカフェ日記.

越來越好的日子。

其實這樣也很不錯。因為生活本來就得一樣失一樣，沒有完美的。我要學習更正面的思考，活用意志力。happiness is not a destination but the way we travel along our journey. だから、できるだけ精神レベルを上げるよ！がんばります！

my dear.

soon, we are meeting up again. i wanna give you a big hug. we are going to look at each other and be speechless for a short moment. then there will be smile of happiness on our faces, tears of joy in our eyes. we may have nothing much to talk at the beginning. i'm passing you 小團圓 which you have been looking forward to read. and you are gonna show me where you put my drawing of the black bird in your little home. you got to introduce me your best friends there. we are gonna eat and drink our favourites together. we are gonna give our best wishes to the innocent one who is safe in heaven.

yes, we are going to. very soon.

and for now, take very deep breath and focus on what you got to do. even though you are horrified now, you are sure gonna make it and be amazed by your own strength.

またお花見の季節。

又是櫻花的季節。這是幾年前拍的。櫻花讓我感覺幸福。看見那一對老伴更覺他們幸福。不知老來能否有幸和心愛的老伴賞花？能相遇一路偕手走到人生的這裡真不簡單啊。對現在的我來說真遙遠。

my disney.

i have no experience but i'd like to learn.

my line when i called into almost every single job classified ad. even though "with 2 years of experience" made me feel so inadequate, i still called anyway. those were my green days.

有的沒的。

丟了好多亂收集的有的沒的。這是其中一些生還者。

曾經的粉紅拉鍊。

not found.

僕はつい见えもしないものに頼って逃げる︱君はすぐ形で示してほしいとごねる︱矛盾しあった几つもの事が正しさを出张しているよ︱爱するって奥が深いんだ︱何処まで行けば分かり合えるのだろう︱歌や诗になれないこの感情と苦悩︱君に触れていたい痛みすら伴い歯痒くとも切なくとも︱微笑みを 微笑みを︱爱という素敌な嘘で骗してほしい︱自分だって思ってたひとがまた违う颜を见せるよ︱ねぇそれって君のせいかな︱どのくらいすれば忘れられんのだろう︱过去の自分に向けたこの后悔と憎悪︱君に触れていたい︱优しい胸の上であの覚束无い子守呗を︱もう一度 もう一度︱昨日探し当てた场所に今日もジャンプしてみるけれど︱なぜかNOT FOUND 今日は NOT FOUND︱ジェットコースターみたいに浮き沈み︱何処まで行けば辿り着けるのだろう︱目の前に积まれたこの绝望と希望︱君に触れていたい痛みすら伴い歯痒くとも切なくとも︱微笑みを 微笑みを︱もう一度 微笑みを

＊ずっと前から好きだった曲。２０００年だったけ？もう１０年ぐらい！私の場合はまだnot foundだけど。

喜歡張縣信任的樣子。

那天我開始去想信任的樣子 | 信任臉上畫了艷麗的妝而眼神天真 | 信任其實是多抽絲剝繭的詮釋 | 你如果還有深入淺出的表達　別怕 | 大部分時間裏也只是誤會一場 | 誤會眉梢描著迷人的歉疚但修剪很差 | 誤會給人們機會決定感想 | 想著沒什麼事情不值得尷尬 不值得尷尬 | 也覺得這就是誠實罷 | 明白希望也許並不是都長得儀表堂堂 | 所以我不再忙著沮喪 | 手裡有打開門的鑰匙 | 但我得承認我只喜歡在生命的房間開一扇窗 | 畢竟日子有來有往 | 那天我開始去想信任的樣子 | 信任臉上畫了艷麗的妝而眼神天真 | 信任其實是多抽絲剝繭的詮釋 | 你如果還有誤會的感傷 漂亮


片段中有些散落有些深刻的錯︱還不懂這一秒鐘怎麼舉動怎麼好好地和誰牽手︱那寂寞有些許不同 我挑著留下沒說︱那生活還過分激動 沒什麼我已經以為能夠把握︱而我不再覺得失去是捨不得︱有時候只願意聽你唱完一首歌︱在所有人事已非的景色裡我最喜歡你..︱片段中有些散落有些深刻的錯︱還不懂這一秒鐘怎麼舉動怎麼好好和你過︱那寂寞有些許不同 我挑著留下沒說︱那生活還過分激動 沒什麼我已經以為能夠把握︱你知道你曾經讓人被愛並且經過︱畢竟是有著怯怯但能給的沉默︱在所有不被想起的快樂裡我最喜歡你..︱而我不再覺得失去是捨不得︱有時候只願意聽你唱完一首歌︱在所有人事已非的景色裡我最喜歡你..︱而我不再覺得..

have come a long way.

today, i packed my store room. along the way of struggling with boxes of memories in the middle of a small space, i felt time has left me long ago... browsing through old photos, letters, notes and all those sentimental collections, i realised that i have come a long long way... pieces of random notes here and there reminds me how lost i was in my early 20s. My 1 year stay in Osaka seems like a dream to me now. i am glad that i was brave enough to make this dream happened. stacks of love letters sent to Osaka from my 1st bf are one of my most precious treasure. D.I.Y booklets & cards given by The Gang to encourage me and wish me luck to my departure touch my heart even more now. every word expressed the purest friendship which i am lucky enough to have until now. The Gang don't see each other as often as last time anymore because everyone is busy with their careers. most of my best girl friends are overseas now. old photos printed with my all kinds of exaggerated expressions marked my naive days. old portfolio from advertising days showed how hard i tried to prove myself at work. so hard that some guys thought i was lesbian. haha... music CDs reminds me of my old taste which i wanna re-discover later (yay!). for those kawaii nonsense i bought/collected from trips... i wont buy so much anymore as there are too many beautiful nonsense in this world and i can't have them all but only the best. the more i pack, the more i reacquaint myself. how interesting... ('u')

會不會？

也許有一天你會。
如果哪一天你懂。

寂しいの？

私：そう。寂しいよ。
私：特に金曜の夜に強く感じるね。
私：そう。
私：ビール飲もうか。
私：いいよ。
私：あ、タバコも。
私：いいよ。
私：みんなはいないね。
私：仕様がないな。
私：もう昔じゃないからね。
私：そう。
私：乾杯。
私：乾杯〜。

我愛。 你。

多简单 爱情 像就做完的梦 清楚 模糊 ︱ 多简单 像第一次问你爱不爱 你说 爱 爱 ︱ 多美丽 回答 它轻轻的掠过 不愿落下 ︱ 这一些热的烈的情 和苍白的浮冰 多无影 ︱ 啊… 散 散落 那些忽而现 又有时隐而不见的飞 ︱ 啊… 散落 那些抓不住的 才是真的 ︱ 多简单 爱情 它轻轻的掠过 不愿落下 ︱ 这一些热的烈的情 都无影 ︱ 啊 多透明 ︱ 啊… 散 散落 那些忽而现 又有时隐而不见的飞 ︱ 啊… 散落 那些忽而亮 转而模糊 隐隐约约飘落 ︱ 啊… 散 散落 那些忽而现 又有时隐而不见的坠 ︱ 啊… 散落

哈，愛情原來像polaroid。
謝了阿偉讓我看見這mv。根本就一見一听鐘情!

i am a cyborg.

taken at 7th week after operation. wow so many screws!!


before.

大掃除。

家裡一團亂，好多擱在一邊未處理的事物。終於在前天開始大掃除了。与其說是家裡大掃除，不如說是心靈大掃除。在大掃除間最大的困擾就是，捨与不捨。我是蠻健忘的，可是我很念舊。不小心從箱子裡，柜子裡，抽屜裡翻出來的一件件回憶，我就會發起呆來，百般滋味讓我有一種迷失感。還是遺失感？然後提醒自己生不帶來死帶不去，一個人在外帶著這麼重包負多難前進啊。在這種心裡愐懷与爭扎間，大掃除緩慢地進行著。丟吧捨吧。這樣才能輕松過簡化生活。

i have forgotten [6]

市川実日子。I had been admiring her a lot in my early 20s. She is still cool and perfect to me. ('u')

突然ですが...

...荒木经惟＆森山大道に引かれた!

荒木经惟

...“《感伤的旅行》是我的爱，也是我作为摄影师的决心。我拍摄自己的新婚旅行，所以是真实的摄影。”...“我在日常的淡淡地走过去的顺序中感觉到什么。” 与其把荒木经惟看作一个“躲在镜头后面的淫秽摄影者，不如像电影“东京日和”里描述的那样，将之看作一个普通日本市民，他和妻子阳子之间的感情如同任何一对相爱的夫妻一样，是在生活琐碎的矛盾之中，在无数次误会拌嘴之中慢慢积累起来的。这种感情或许看似已归于平淡，但每一次静默的晚饭、无声的散步中，无不包含了无尽的爱意。荒木选择了用相机来记录这种感情，直到阳子临终的那一刻——相纸上留下的是两只紧握的手，两位即将离别爱人的手，镜头凝固下来的，是马上要归于两个世界人之间的道别。

森山大道

日本摄影家森山大道喜欢以狗自比。他曾经这么形容自己：“我以前每天就像一条狗在路上到处排泄似的在街头各处拍摄照片”。对于城市和街头的迷恋开始得更早。小时候我喜欢画画，说到学习就头疼，喜欢一个人在街上瞎逛。很少和一群人出去玩，总是一个人在街上。从某种意义上，街头成了我最好的朋友。现在的我也还是如此，其实还是当年那个孩子，只是手中多了一只相机。

ハツコイ娼女。

神秘で出来た美しい獣を観る。捜していたものを見つけた悦びをいま唄に代えよう。届いて　”あなたの名前を知りたい。嗚呼きっといつか呼べます様に。”

神秘は識らない己が奇跡だとは　後ろめたい気持ちのわたしは言い訳も唄に代えよう。例えば　”あなたの鼓動を聴きたい。嗚呼ずっと遥か遠くからも。”

”あなたの視点を読みたい。嗚呼今日が逃げてゆく前に、あなたの名前を呼びたい。嗚呼どうかあなた疎まないで。”

*這ＭＶ太美了！像射出的精液，像吹散的煙，像噴射的花火，像漫遊的水母，像飄渺的浮雲，像無窮的宇宙，千變万化，難以捉摸，神秘陰沉，鏡花水月，逝去無痕，訴說的是一個娼妓的初戀。連名字也不知道。

concert version:

ギブス

あなたはすぐに写真を撮りたがる。あたしは何时も其れを厌がるの。だって写真になっちゃえば、あたしが古くなるじゃない。あなたはすぐに绝対などと云う。あたしは何时も其れを厌がるの。だって冷めてしまっちゃえば、其れすら嘘になるじゃない。此処に居てずっとずっとずっと。明日のことは判らない、だからぎゅっとしていてね、ぎゅっとしていてね、ダーリン。

あなたはすぐにいじけて见せたがる。あたしは何时も其れを喜ぶの。だってカートみたいだから、あたしがコートニーじゃない。傍に来てもっともっともっと。昨日のことは忘れちゃおう、そしてぎゅっとしていてね、ぎゅっとしていてね、ダーリン。

また四月が来たよ。同じ日のことを思い出して。此処に居てずっと　ずっと　ずっと。明日のことは判らない、だからぎゅっとしていてね。傍に来てもっともっともっと。昨日のことは忘れちゃおう、そしてぎゅっとしていてね、ぎゅっとしていてね、ダーリン。

＊明日のことはわからなかったから、つい写真をいっぱいとられた私があなたにとって古くなちゃった。Somehow grief is contagious.＊

お弁当を作りたいな〜

お弁当=幸福。對我來說是這樣的。裡面除了美味還有滿滿的愛。最好玩的就是可以不同顏色的食物排出不同的樣式。為心愛的人做便當好幸福，吃愛人做的便當好幸福。吃自己做的也好幸福啦。 要做！ ('u')

byebye. hello.

hello 2009, i'm here. sorry for being late for almost a quarter! will catch up!

deadly beautiful IV

兩個看不見傷痕的傷口。

一個在心裡，一個在口裡。
失去的很痛，承受的很苦。
可是體會到更多窩心的事。
朋友家人的關心支持与愛。
想想還是讓我覺得很幸福。
我也應同樣好好珍惜他們。
拋棄我的我干嘛還去感傷。
真謝謝你們，也好愛你們。 ('u')

私には惜しい事じゃない。

やっとあの人の未熟に傷つかれて過ぎ去られた事を乗り越えて気持ちが大分楽になってきた。大切にしてくれない人は大切にしてあげるわけはない。今よく考えると振られて良かった。もっと明るくてお互いに支えられて成長したひとと恋したい。とにかく、これからやりたいこと、やらなければいけないこといっぱいある。早く体が治るようにお祈っております！もうすぐ春だもん！よし！よし！ ( 'u' )

ソフトピンク・ソフトアイス。

見るだけて気持ちよくさせてくれるソフトアイス。お天気はまだ曇りだけど、大丈夫だと思えてくる。お母さんがすぐ戻って来るはずなので、待ってるよ。今日習ったのは、自分の幸せは自分が決めるということだ。そうそう、私はこんな家族がいて、こんな友達がいて、理想の仕事もできて、自由を持って、結構幸せじゃん。人生は完璧というものじゃないから。('u')

なぜ。

なぜ猿を純粋に愛する竜は振られたの？
なぜ猿を信じる竜は騙されたの？
なぜ猿に優しい竜は冷たくされたの？
答え、竜は愛されていない。

なぜ猿は一緒にいて居心地が良い竜に最後に嫌気がさしたの？
なぜ最初に簡単な竜が気に入った猿は最終に複雑な蛇を選んだの？
なぜ竜を裏切った猿は浮気相手の蛇と愉快的な日々を送れるの？
答え、猿は愛するものじゃない。

猿は自分もわからなく惑ってて、自信の低い寂しがりやらしい。
竜はぼろぼろになった寂しがりやです。

fuck you doctor!

how would you feel when your surgeon tells you this after your major operation: "sorry, i thought you didn't need that done (as per original plan), but now...(started observing) i think i made a mistake but you can go for another operation if you still wanna correct it, i can try to work out a discount for you". WHAT THE FUCK?!
then, before he left he tried to joke that he will give me some jobs after he found out that i am an illustrator who knows the golden rules of human proportion. FUCK YOU BLOODY HELL!!!

そうなんだ。

あれ、たぶんかみさまがわたしにみせたいかもね。しょうじきにいうと、あんなにさいていなんておもわなかった。しぬかとおもうぐらいないてたときに、かなしくてなにもたべられないときに、しんぱいでぜんぜんねられないときに、じゃまをかけないようにでんわかけじゃだめなときに、もっとじゆうをあげようとがまんしてるときに、あのかのじょとあのパーテイであんなににこにこしてたのしんでたね。うわきなんかやったら、せめてしょうじきにいえよ。ほんとうのじぶんをさがしたいとか、おんがくをつくりたいとか、えらそうなりくつだらけだね。じけんのしまつをかんがえるほど、ますますはらがたっちゃうの。わたしはこんなにしんじてたのに。まあ、いいけど、そのうちにぜったいひどくこうかいするから。いっぱいなみだをながしたわたしなんかばかじゃん。いいおとこぶってるくそにせものにひどくだまされた。でもはやくわかってよかった。はやくこんないやなきもちからそつぎょうしたい。うらみをだいてるのはくるしいんだよ、こんなおんなのひとじゃなかったよわたし。おしいのは、みにくいげんじつがもともとのこりたいうつくしいおもいでをだいぶころしちゃった。あー、あいしてたあのおとこが、すでにみしらないひとになったのをしんじなきゃ。わかれからもうなんかげつたったのに、わたしはまだここに。。。おそいというか、なさけないというか。

真相...

不小心露了一角。
很殘忍可是也好。
那樣更容易放開。
只能說物以類聚。
也許是一件好事。
眼淚真是白流了。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　('u')

da la la...

Every time I think of you | I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue | It's no problem of mine but its a problem I find | Living a life that I cant leave behind | There's no sense in telling me | The wisdom of a fool wont set you free | But that's the way that it goes | And its what nobody knows | And every day my confusion grows | Every time I see you falling | I get down on my knees and pray | I'm waiting for that final moment | You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good | I feel like I never should | Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say | Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday | I'm not sure what this could mean | I don't think you're what you seem | I do admit to myself | That if I hurt someone else | Then I'll never see just what were meant to be | Every time I see you falling | I get down on my knees and pray | I'm waiting for that final moment | You'll say the words that I can't say

dance or die!

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.
100 days, 100 locations, 100 dances,100 Songs. I sooooooo luv this! whoo! reminds me of those days when i danced all night long with those crazy friends!

friendship like caramel.

lovely warm sanctuary where the simplest and warmest friendship is. as sweet as caramel. ('u')

why simple(stupid) girls never win.

what a truth that marry poppins stated in her blog:
..."Also I've learnt from experience, and through old convos with Shades and recent words with Botak Boyd, you can't give a man all he wants. As much as every idiotic guy says they would love to meet a woman who's frank about the cards on the table, what actually keeps 'em coming back is the mystery, the unravelling, the constant discoveries. So girls, don't reveal your hand, let the boys show a diamond first before you let them peek at your lacy lingerie-ed heart."...
hhmmm... why do we have to be so complicated to find love?

tuesdays with morrie

..."The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."...

..."So many people walking around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."...

..."The truth is, part of me is every age. I'm a three-year-old, I'm a five-year-old, I'm a thirty-seven-year-old, I'm a fifty-year-old. I've been through all of them, and i know what it's like. I delight in being a child when it's appropriate to be a child, I delight in being a wise old man when it's appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all i can be! I am every age, up to my own. How can I be envious of where you are - when I've been there myself?"...

..."Learn to detach...But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it... Throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience then fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ' Alright. I have experienced the emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'"...

..."When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."...

..."Love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone."...

they told me "slowly but surely".

slowly but surely i won't feel such pain in my chest.
slowly but surely i won't miss you every single second.
slowly but surely i won't miss those wonderful trips.
slowly but surely i won't recall those conversations we had.
slowly but surely i won't see you hugging me in my dream anymore.
slowly but surely i won't see your ghost everywhere we have been.
slowly but surely i won't look at your photos anymore.
slowly but surely i won't imagine your bike parking in the alley.
slowly but surely i won't imagine you knocking at my door.
slowly but surely i won't recall how you said "oi de".
slowly but surely i won't recall how you told me "ano suki desu".
slowly but surely i won't wonder what you are doing at this time.
slowly but surely i won't miss your dog and wonder if she's doing good.
slowly but surely i won't miss your mom and your aunt.
slowly but surely i won't remember which floor you stay.
slowly but surely i won't remember the view from your window.
slowly but surely i won't remember your scent.
slowly but surely i won't remember the way you snore.
slowly but surely i won't remember how you rolled in my bed.
slowly but surely i won't remember the brand you smoke.
slowly but surely i won't remember your favourites.
slowly but surely i won't remember your number.
slowly but surely i won't be reminded of you when i see anything japanese.
slowly but surely i won't mind those lies you told me.
slowly but surely i won't mind what you promised but didn't really mean it.
slowly but surely i won't mind how cruel & cold the way you left me.
slowly but surely i won't be disappointed with you anymore.
slowly but surely i won't be jealous about you & her.
slowly but surely i won't love you anymore.
slowly but surely i won't hate you either.

because it's heart-breaking, it's tiring,
it's depressing, it's torturing,
it's not the way i used to be.

because this is how nature rules.
just like spring comes after winter.

things keep changing.
everybody is busy keeping up with changes.
you put me to your history,
i've got to walk out of history
and i am not allowed to take too long.

yet...
i am not afraid to face you.

神啊。。。

請保佑我的手術（到消腫後）是完美成功的！
拜托了！謝謝您！

傻勁 • 堅持 • 愛

當時剛蘇醒的我，迷迷糊糊地，鼻腔裡積滿血塊，口腔滿是血腥。
唇干烈得像兩片旱地，呼吸只靠著干冷的空气經過快破烈的喉嚨。
全神灌注每一呼每一吸，在想著我在干嘛，讓自己經歷這些？
如果當初知道會這樣，我會做嗎？做人真的需要一股傻勁吧。
如果當初知道太多，我也許就不會做了。

好啦，現在每一分每一秒，都好痛好苦。
骨頭，口腔內，舌頭，喉嚨，唇，臉，頭。
藥丸。藥丸。藥丸。藥丸。藥丸。藥丸。
挨餓。無味。挨餓。無味。挨餓。無味。
我能做的只有堅持了。

朋友的關心讓人感動。
家人的愛是無价。
好幸運有他們在。

除了一個。
真是這樣子嗎？

i'd rather you do a short film like this.

not like those written...

i'm going in today! ('u')
everything will be fine i guess, except the pain.
it's been pain. pain. pain. pain. pain...
i hope those pain that i have gone through
will bring me something sweet in return.
got to be patient...

Mom's here.

My mom arrived yesterday. I brought her to a 'date'. At dinner, she enjoyed her first bowl of kyushu ramen, especially that big round piece of char siew (except a lil too salty for her). Then I showed her to Singapore river, we sat by the river, eating ocha+lychee ice-cream while our hair were dancing wild the in wind. We chatted a lot. Mum has been working her whole life away for the family, rarely she has chance to chill like this with me. Since my teen age, we have been apart most of the time. I think the beauty about relationship with family is, the longer/further we are away from our family, the closer we become. I'm so glad she is here with me now. Even though... at least... ('u')

一雙紅鞋走天涯。

是否每個女孩子都想要一雙紅鞋？我小時只穿黑色和白色的皮鞋，如今老大了，反而覺得女人應該有一雙紅鞋傍身，可能是因為我從來沒有勇氣為每片腳指甲塗上鮮紅色，也沒勇氣穿上艷紅色的內衣吧。

很想找的時候沒找到，不去找的時候，這雙紅鞋卻好像為我停下了腳步，羞澀地在那兒向我招手似的。最後一雙，只有我的尺碼，朋友看到想買，已經沒有了。

我想起前兩天為明年一月出版的台版圖文珍藏版第四冊《女人的愛情行李》寫的一篇序，是寫一個失戀的女人打包行李離開。一個人擁有的東西，總是愈來愈多。我們搬進一個新家的時候，也許只是帶著一個箱子，要走的時候，東西卻裝滿了二十個箱子。

捨棄從來不比擁有容易，尤其是要從心愛的東西裡捨棄其中一些，好讓自己輕身上路。

終究有一天，你會明白，我們只是旅人。人生的百轉千迴中，根本一直也佈滿了一個一個車站，機場和渡頭。我們相聚，我們離別，我們是彼此生命中的一個旅人，留下了歡樂或悲傷的足跡，然後各自轉到下一個未知的地方去。

每一場相聚，都是離別的開始。既然我們要去的終站是不一樣的，我們要走的路也不相同，這場相聚，只能在其中一站分手。

捨不得你，但路還是要走下去，前面也許有一片更旖旎的風光。抹乾眼淚，我走我的路，如果你曾是那麼值得愛，我會永遠懷念你，謝謝你陪我走了一程。如果你不值得，我會把你抖落，當作從來沒有認識你，你是我年少無知所犯下的最愚蠢的錯誤。

每一段旅程、每一個過客、每一次心碎，後來都讓我長大。從今以後，脫掉童稚的小花襪子，換上一雙紅鞋，走我絢爛的天涯。

＊jan 19th 2009 by 張小嫻

媽的我這一陣子也太太太感性了吧。可是我知道有一天這麼感性的我有消失的可能。不管了，這是我走過的，沒什麼好隱藏的。

...But the sheep had taught him something even more important: that there was a language in the world that everybody understood, a language the boy had used throughout the time that he was trying to improve things at the shop. It was the language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as part of a search for something believed in and desired. Thangier was no longer a strange city, and he felt that just as he had conquered this place, he could conquer the world....

...He still had some doubt about the decision he had made, But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone make a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision...

..."they are not my sheep anymore," he said to himself, without nostalgia. "They must be used to their new shepherd, and have probably already forgotten me. That's good. Creatures like sheep, that are used to traveling, know about moving on."...

...Never stop dreaming. Follow the omens. When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it...

..."Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens...Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now."...

...The alchemist opened a bottle and poured a red liquid into the boy's cup. It was the most delicious wine he had ever tasted. "Isn't wine prohibited here?" the boy asked. "It's not what enters men's mouths that's evil," said the alchemist. "It's what comes out of their mouth that is."...

..."You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love...the love that speaks the Language of the World."...

*from the alchemist, paulo coelho.

some people mean what they say.
i really really appreciate that.
for those who don't mean what they say,
i'll just forget about that.

simple. ('u')

華麗的冒險

長長的路的盡頭是一片滿是星星的夜空•這一趟華麗的冒險沒有真實的你陪我走•長長的時間的旅程充滿太多未知的誘惑•數不清對你承諾過的一切•還有多少沒有實現過•不願放開手•不願讓你走•瘋狂的夢沒有了你•還有什麼用•不願放開手•不願讓你走•不願眼睜睜的看你•走出我的生活

(都不重要了，我還是會繼續走下去。)

lovely friends.

i am so lucky to have such excellent & talented friends like you guys/girls.
i will always remember what you did for me.
i love you all. *muahhhs*

11 more days.

after 11 more days, it will mark a new chapter in my life.
my life project will begin.
i got to keep this vision.
i got to keep my passion.
i got to be patient.
i got to be brave.

i thought i am hopelessly stuck but last night was definitely a special night.
i am glad to have this unusual conversation with them.
they are going to do that and they inspired me an unusual alternative.
what they mentioned has matched my dream.
a simple life.
yes, a simple life out of this superficial world.
yet i will still keep what i am gifted with.
i am kind of excited and scared at the same time now.
of course it will be perfect if i have a partner with the same vision.
anyway, i don't care.
anyway, i don't belong to anywhere.
anyway, wherever i go, i am alone.
anyway, what can be worse?

this vision must be realised. ('u')

探してるもの。

どこかにいる。

another sky. another day.

i f**king love sky.
空に癒される。('u')

生存武器。

她看見他了，他讓她聽了一首作給她的歌。
他還寫了詞呢。好感動。
然後。。。她睜開了眼，淚默默地流下來。
午夜時分。只聽見風扇咻咻地轉著。

現實中，他是一個回憶。
既然是回憶，就是過去。

現實中，他是一個歷史。
既然是歷史，就是死了。

他已經死了。
他已經死了。
他已經死了。

既使他還活著，
他是另一個人。
他不是以前的他。

活在過去是很痛苦的。
沒有什麼是永恆的。
唯有變才是不變的。

她會習慣的。
習慣是人最大的生存武器之一。

now you know better.

Can you remember when you were just six years old?
With a trusting heart accepting everything you're told
Anyone bigger must have been right even if they were wrong
You'd take what is given, you didn't know better

All your little mind could comprehend was goodness and truth
Even when the baddest things were being done to you
Ain't it a shame how you pay for your innocence?
And you'd take what was given, you didn't know better about

** Loving, cheating, people leaving
Dying, living, losing and forgiving
Growing, saying no and being who you are

What about the time when you became sixteen years old?
With an unsure heart believing some of what you're told
Wanting to be someone different, but there's pressure to be the same
So you'd take what was given, you didn't know better

All that you could think about was what you should or should not do
Every single insecurity was magnified for you
Then suddenly you began to feel all the contradictions
But you'd take what was given, you didn't know better about **

Now here you are a little older than before
You've really been through it and you might go through some more
But if there's one precious thing you've learned
Is that you can't just take what is given and now you know better about **

soulmate.

a soulmate beats everything.
EVERYTHING she did.

一期一会。

テちゃん、

あの時、あんなにあの男を精一杯に深く深く愛したこともあったね。今日から、この辛い思いを深く心の底に埋めて、また新しい人生を向かおう。これから、つきの愛してくれる男に出会えるように、ちゃんと生きて行くね。もう泣かないで、勇気出して、もっと素敵な女になって、がんばってね。いつかきっと運命のあの人があなたに逢いに来ると信じて。その時、一緒に楽しい人生を。

you are not just a simple and nice girl.
although he may not see it,
you know you are much more than that.
anyway, simple and nice girl is not easy to be found.
don't feel little.
save your tears and unconditioned love to
someone who will cherish you with a big heart.

no matter how, you are glad that you have met him once in your life.
he has once loved you and given you happy memories.

人生の一期一会って、そう言うものかな。
大事な勉強になりましたね。
素敵な思いだけ残って、微笑んで、よいお終いに。

ね、大好きだったよ。
いつか再び会った時に、一番美しい微笑みで、挨拶できるね。

さよなら。('u')

テちゃん　より

背叛。

其實他不是想一個人。
他只是搭上另一個人。

回憶的葬禮。

對她而言，
２００８結束得很殘酷，
２００９開始得很慘痛。
新年燦爛的煙火結束後，
他轉頭輕輕的一句分手，
把她轟炸得碎屍萬段，血漿四濺。
她毫無保留的給，原來是多餘的。
她赤裸裸的愛，原來那麼不值的。
他帶著受傷的心，投入她的懷抱，
然後把傷留給她，離開她的懷抱。
在她快動手術前，
在她最需要他時，
他說他要找回他自己，和他的音樂。
其實是狗屁是移情別戀。
那她是什麼。
什麼都不是。

以前他說 “我想和你在一起，你不介意我比你小吧？“
現在他說 “有時和你在一起，我不懂自己是20s還是30s“

以前他說 “給我幾年時間努力，我要照顧你“
現在他說 “我覺得我現在還想玩“

以前他說 “和你在一起很舒服，喜歡你的簡單“
現在他說 “也許我只是喜歡你，我並不愛你“

以前他說 “你的一根長髮黏著我的T-shirt上，很可愛“
現在他說 “你的髮型不好看，裙子也不適合“

以前他說 “听著妳的聲音，我才能安心睡著“
現在他根本不須要她跟他道晚安。

以前他說 “我喜歡你幫我刷背“
現在他別過身去。

以前他說 “你對我很重要“
現在他根本不須要她。

她知道比起其他世上任何不幸事件，
她的不算什麼。

她知道他變心已無可挽回。
起碼她已盡她所能了，沒有後悔。

她知道這一切已是歷史。
偏偏她是念舊的人，雖然她很善忘。

她知道家人和朋友都愛她的。
她卻很難接受他不再愛她了。

她知道現在的她很笨很儒弱，
也許將來的哪一天回首，
她已毫無感覺。

原來她被背叛。
其實他不值得。

sunlight.

i have forgotten [5]

i used to be very crazy about stripes.
i still love stripes.
*taken at Vanilla Industry

his story.

wat's his story? looking at his hands, i wonder.

what's a girl to do?

We walked arm in arm
But I didn't feel his touch
A desire I'd first tried to hide,
That tingling inside was gone
And when he asked me:
'do you still love me?'
I had to look away
I didn't want to tell him
That my heart grows colder with each day

When you love so long
That the thrill is gone
And your kisses at night
Are replaced with tears
And when your dreams are on
A train to train wreck town
Then I ask you now, what's a girl to do?

He said he'd take me away
That we'd work things out
And I didn't want to tell him
But it was then I had to say
Over the times we've shared
It's all blackened out
And my bat lightning heart
Wants to fly away

happy new year

i wanna be better in 2009.
even more self-contented.
even more beautiful.
even more healthier.
even more confident.
even more brave.
cant be lazy anymore. ('u')

ね

ね、私、、、
朝から、夜まで
夜から、朝まで
ぜんぜんねむれないの。

誰か助けてくれないか

いつか悪夢から覚める
いつかまた笑える
いつか誰かと
いつかまた

何を言ってるの？
ひどくない？

２００９アケオメ

let me know

がんばりましょう

i tripped.
but i must stand up again.
so that i can continue walking.
so that i can walk along with my loved one.
so that my hands are not on the ground
and able to hold my loved one’s hands.

i cried.
but i must smile again.
so that i don't stress people up.
so that people won't run away from me.
so that i can make people smile.
and that will make myself smile.

i'm tired.
but i must regain my energy.
so that i will be in good shape.
so that i can overcome challenges.
so that people won't take me as a burden.
and they feel at ease with me.

it's my own responsibility to make myself contented.
start looking for simple and small happiness.
so that i can share little happiness with people i love.
and they will share theirs with me.

i've been keeping a little girl in me.
but i can't act like a little girl.
i must always remember this.

てちゃん、がんばろうね！ ('u')

Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
she'll get my support
she will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
shell hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
she will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put her arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

*Thanks for introducing this song to me.

countdown

everyone's counting down to new year.
i'm counting down every second to the day we will meet again.

love vs. like

according to Wikipedia:

LOVE
is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

LIKE
(As a verb)
Generally as a verb like refers to a fondness for something or someone.
Like can be used to express a feeling of attraction between two people, weaker than love and distinct from it in important ways.

according to dicionary.com:

LOVE
–verb (used with object)
1. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
2. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
3. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
4. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
5. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
6. to have sexual intercourse with.

LIKE
verb, liked, lik⋅ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to take pleasure in; find agreeable or congenial: We all liked the concert.
2. to regard with favor; have a kindly or friendly feeling for (a person, group, etc.); find attractive: His parents like me and I like them.
3. to wish or prefer: You can do exactly as you like while you are a guest here.

happiness.

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you”
~Nathaniel Hawthorne

last time.

sometimes i miss those crazy days when all of us enjoyed copying each other's dance steps, listening to free tempo, laughing at stupid jokes, sharing opinions, problems, hugs... but i don't wanna go back.

Look.

ken has inspired me to do a lookbook. why not? must keep myself not too outdated. i admit that sometimes i really forgot how to dress up. will do more!

i hate pro bono.

i am not into that kind of fame coz i really feel nothing from it. i took it because i am doing a favour but this favour is giving me hell. so why am i doing it? as a perfectionist, i have done my best and i think they are asking too much. professionally, i should make my client happy just like a prostitute. but this time, and for the first time, i would like to say, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. and no more pro bono for me. thank you. i'd rather spend time with my sophie black or just sleep.

あなたは

やさしくて
やさしくて
やさしくて
やっぱり
ダイスキだよ

ハチ。

ハチ、ハチ、早く元気になるように。

媽媽。

好幾次好幾次，媽媽就在我超低落時打電話給我問好。我當然說一切都好。心裡想著，難道千里外的媽媽感應到我的低落嗎？太厲害了吧。

一個人。

一個人醒來，一個人工作，一個人吃飯，一個人看電視，一個人逛街，一個人說話，一個人抽煙，一個人休息，一個人週末，一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人一個人。原來有了愛情，大部分時間還是得一個人。其實一個人很脆弱。

牛油萬歲。

近年來的每一次海外旅遊，從機上開始，只要看見牛油出現，平時也沒特別想買來吃的我就會瘋狂湧起嗑牛油的衝動。機餐裡的一顆小圓面包能讓我狠狠地嗑上四塊牛油。其中兩塊是同伴不要的，一塊是不知廉恥硬跟空姐從回收的餐盤裡要來的未開封過的。溶在口裡的清純幸福的滋味真的讓我high死了。旅途中所遇上的牛油都有吃錯沒放過！可是旅行結束後，一切又恢復正常。幸好是這樣。

和美。

Priss' post in her blog about how she met her good friend reminds me of a story which happened after I met Kazumi, who is a happy OL in Singapore now. I met her thru a friend. One fine day after 1-2 years we met, I found out one precious piece from my magazine cutout collection that made me fell from my bed (I was clearing the old cutouts on my bed). Kazumi is in it!!! She was modeling in Tokyo that time. I cut that out because I like the hairstyle and wanted to use that as a reference to show my hair dresser long time back. What can I say other than FATE? 超不思議！

少女の宝物 その一。

全然高くないけど、中に思い出がいっぱい隠った宝物です。
They are all inexpensive, yet my treasures with sweet memories(some given by friends). Although I am not a young girl anymore. ('u')






I tried to clean and pack my stuff in the house yesterday and realised that I have a lot of things actually. Accessories, clothes, shoes, bags, books, beautiful cutouts, decorative items... Wow how could a human being own so much things in life! I should simplify my life. I will register those sweet ones to remind myself that I am lucky to own so much beautiful things and I should not just anyhow buy new stuff again. In fact, I have enough clothes, shoes and bags to wear for the rest of my life...only if I don't keep myself updated with fashion trend and only if I am not greedy. ('u')

happy halloween

My plan for tonight was to work out the final piece of a long delayed pro bono job. Yet I just received a big halloween 'surprise' - my cinema display screen just went dead. I am not sure if it's just the monitor problem or something wrong with the CPU, I sincerely sincerely sincerely hope that those heavy & complicated work-in-progress files inside my harddisk are not affected from this... they cost my bloody life and many sleepless nights... Now I must stay calm... and wait for technical support tomorrow.

Life is so unpredictable... your important data in computer, bank saving that you worked your whole life for, your loved ones could be gone without any notice. Anything could happen.

Anyway, ya, happy halloween.

i miss my long long hair

I love this picture. Thanks for taking this for me. And I think I miss my long hair. ('u')

a surreal ride

Amazing sea view from train was super surreal to me! It kind of reminded me one of the scene in Spirited Away which the train was traveling across sea. By the way, I guess the obasan in white hat was having her good old romantic memory flashing back in her mind. On the way to meet her first lover?

i have forgotten [4]

I LOVE Gustav Klimt's art! It's really inspiring to me.
Haiz...I really feel like stop working on commercial job for a while and improve on my personal project. Sophie Black has been waiting for me for a long time.

新加坡港

世界東西交匯最繁忙港口，看不見半個人影。看來最忙的是机械長頸鹿們。

陽光 • 夏

陽光下，看看它的創作。

婀挪多姿的樹影好悠閒。

點點閃爍的波光好活潑。

我愛童話

不知不覺在這兒住兩年了，懶惰的我那一天稍微整理了一下。問問自己長這麼大了還留著這些看來只會收集塵埃的小玩意們幹嘛。想了想，也許是因為心裡那小女孩還眷戀著她的童年吧。

曼谷小巷的黑色大門裡

好酷的小黑鹿碟子。

恐怖的魔鬼墨魚汁“趴斯達”。


可愛小花蝴蝶結！

誘人的黑白組合！

我最愛千層蛋糕，還是白色的！

好花心思的玻璃鏡喔。

台灣炎炎夏日

這是芭樂嗎？好粉紅喔。

昨天，我很傷心，生氣，無奈，委屈。
因為已是昨天，我希望成為過去的，
是這件事，而不是友情。

過去的時間讓我們體認到人生無常，
將來的某些也只有時間能告訴我們。

可是我還是幸福的。我會盡量惜福。
在我能力範圍內的，我都會去做的。

好累。

寂しい戦場

雜亂。瘋狂。燃燒。盲目。麻木。日夜顛倒。天旋地轉。

James Jean!! Sugosugi!!

I was totally blown away (like a small tiny dust) when i saw this artpiece by James Jean! This is the one i like most from his series done for AIDES. It's so inspring! I feel so tiny infront of him. But! i will achieve this one day. :-p

水族館が大好き！

ずっとじっと見ても飽きない！

Let's go to the beach.

工作好累哦。累得腦都麻了。可是我不怨。
我躺了下來，往上遙望，看見了想念的櫻花。
白瓣黑枝，我中的毒，永遠不能解。
腦是還在麻，可是看著妳，我不想睡。
好想再去。再一回慢慢的。簡單的。

花：對不起，落你身上。
木：太好了，接住你了。

I love sky

I love taking photos of things against sky. Sky simplifies messiness, it makes me wanna take a deep breath, reach out for it, and feel free.

a timid approach

peace please...

taken in Hiroshima Heiwa Kinen Kouen (^_^)v

the dark reality

...that looks surreal to me. it's choking.

while there's nobody here...

...it was once in a while a relieve day and...
mrs. palm's perming her hair ('u')

doggy 's showering with sunlight
*taken in Hakata Uminonakamichi funpark.

仰望你的美

春の旅

今朝、長いゆめから目醒ました気が。本当に美しかった。ケンが側いてくれて、ありがとう。

鉄コン筋クリート！スゴスギ！

Heard about this anime before but I didn't know that its art is so amazing! I found out about it from Audrey Kawasaki's journal (thanks to her sharing, and I like her work, too)! I must buy both the book and dvd! Not sure what media they used but after seeing this, I feel like picking up colour pencil again!

在此我由衷許願。。。

希望你能健健康康的。好不好？這與愚人節無關！

これを履いて一緒に遊びにね

桜のゆめが、叶える、叶えてる、叶えた！！

Sophie Black :: time to wake up

She has been sleeping in my storeroom for a long time. Today I took her out and I realised that she is still a pretty baby! ('u')

Camilla Akrans

...a photographer who has that special magic touch! I love the soft romantic mood she captures. very touching!

切ったよ。

何年も掛かって腰まで伸ばしていた髪を。２００８の出発点として。頑張れ！

阿田的迷你夢想。。。

。。。實現了！看他笑得不見眼，我也好替他開心！希望這迷你能為他帶來快樂与好運！加油！

燉蛋燉奶給的幸福。

我只能說，太愛太愛太愛了！！！

私の一番目のクリスマス＊ケーキ

美味しかった。ありがとう！

香港型形色攝

香港各色 II

＊大樓好舊，地拖好時髦！


＊對屋裡的人來說，這破窗是一面牆吧。只覺得破窗好寂寞。

＊紅紅的窗框裡，有著怎麼樣的回憶呢？

* 一個被認為精神有問題的流浪老頭，洋洋洒洒地塗鴉在香港好幾個地方，稱該地為他家族所屬。現在人去了，憤怒的字留下了。好一個傳奇。我則認為他是不折不扣的street graffiti artist。


...more to come...

涼しく、楽しく、美しく。。。

あなたと。

important shortcut

wrap keyboard in a ziplock plastic bag together with my very precious item, then press caps lock + option + D, i got it duplicated. wow! i couldn't believe i found this wonderful way to clone whatever i wanna clone (although it's only limited to item that can fit into a ziplock). i tested again and again with the little rubbery gold fish i bought years ago. and it made me many of them! so unbelievable! ...until i woke up from my dream, yes it's unbelievable. oh well...recently i have been duplicating the same 6GB photoshop file everytime i save it, tats why...

TADAHIRO UESUGI. sugosugi!!!

太厲害啦！！！I really really admire Tadahiro Uesugi's illustration. I like the geometric spacing, unique perspective, lighting and wonderful mood created in his art work. I wonder what media he uses...
*images extracted from Tadahiro Uesugi's site.

我是快樂的。

真不敢相信，黑雲真的真的飄過去了。

未完成。。。

超怠け者の私だけど、絶対にこの絵をいつか完成します！というか、まだ完成してないものはいっぱいある、と思い出した。。。（ー。ー）あーあー。。。

十月の怠け者の隅

やっと何でもゆっくり出来る十月です！たまには、怠け者に成っちゃえばいいのよ。さあ、寝ちゃうかな。。。

やっとsophie blackがやってきた！

things i shouldn't forget - the consequences of life and love

i read this in jenny's blog. it's touching and inspiring to me...

"Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe when the door of happiness closed, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives."

"Giving someone all your love is never assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart: but if it does not, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. There are moments in life when you will miss that someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do."

"May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born you were crying and those around you were smiling, live your life so when you die, you will be the one smiling and those around you will be crying."

thanks for sharing these, jenny! ('u')

食べて食べて、美味しいよ。

あの、飛ばせてありがとうね！

最高だったよ。

牙套的魔煉

為了裝牙套，一個月內得犧牲６﹣７顆牙齒。我只能說，有時坐在那小時恐懼不已的牙醫的椅子上，竟悶得打起嗑欠來。除了那煩人的痛楚，依然是好事一件吧。我想。好期待我戴牙套的樣子！

妹妹

當我突然記起時，
或許妹妹已帶著熱淚盈眶，
又按耐不住興奮的心情登機了吧。
而我竟忘了打個電話，給她再次的祝福和鼓勵。
我的妹妹。。。她那單薄矮小的個子，
應該受得了倫敦天氣的冷酷和無情的試鍊吧。
願她那三八熱情友善的個性，能為她帶來好運。
希望兩年後的妳，會是你想成為的你，或更好的。
我的妹妹。。。 替你開心！一切 小心唷！

啊，突然想起小時候，
那挽著裡頭放了几枚錢幣的玩具小桶，
搖擺著蹺蹺的小屁股，擅自出門，
說要找媽媽的四五歲的
妹妹的可愛背影。
嘿嘿。。。 （‘u‘）

i have forgotten [3]

i used to like big watch, especially those squarish ones. since i stop working fulltime, i don't wear watch anymore.

i have forgotten [2]

oh i recall another one. converse shoes. i had many pairs and used to wear them a lot.

昼ご飯は何だった？

i have forgotten [1]

i am very forgetful. i even forgot to post something on my birthday. from now on, i shall post whatever i have forgotten yet i recall suddenly.

first start with donut.

2 weekends ago, jeremy offered me some donuts made by his maid. it looked exactly like the pink one in simpson's movie poster. delicious!! which reminds me... i LOVED donut!! (should i use past tense?) when i was a small kid, especially the one bought by my grandfather, it was simple donut but the skin is crispily baked with fine icing sugar on top. i still LOVE donut now, just that it's hard to find delicious one (no crispy skin...).

these lovely donuts below were bought from sapporo train station during my trip there last spring. super yummy!

i miss you, donatsu! (sob sob...)

mode: slack

been very slack recently. starting to feel useless. time to work hard again. ohohoho... but let me take a nap first...

あなたと春が桜の木ですることをしたいです。

。。。と言ってくれて、ありがとうね。

my little junk book

just recalled this little junk book which i have done in 2000. here are some pages from the book. ('u')

"嵐はもうすぐ終わるから、だいじょうぶよ。"

"そばにいてくれて、ありがとう。"

you were not here.

but it's not too bad.

sunset after spring scream

deadly beautiful III

四月一日に、手ちゃんが生まれた！

これから、色々な冒険に行こうぜ！

AN PAN MAN joined the buddhas!

found him among all the buddha sculptures on my way up to a temple. AN-PAN-MAN, tell me, what are u doing here?

3 seconds of memory

my friend told me small fish has only 3 seconds of memory. i captured 1 second of theirs.

PINKのお祭り！ほ。ほ。ほ。

i want to live in this house.

it's baby blue! so romantic...

中國與她無所不在的紅。

她的紅是父母的愛。

冰糖葫蘆的紅是小孩兒的慾望。

大門的紅是家裡的吉祥。

大旗的紅是歷史的悲壯。

photos taken in beijing. forgot which year.

宮島・風に抱かれる赤と光

男人的背影。

像狗仔似地跟拍，滿好玩的。因為無聊。
在大阪梅田天橋底派傳單的型男。

正与女友約會的紅發夾克男。

逛名店的運動型男。

上便利店的。

与女友趕電車去祭典的和服男。

爆頭黑皮西裝男。

全副武裝，有備而來的超認真攝影達人。（夸張的哩！笑死。）

金田在地鐵。

父親在京都。

哎，拍不到自己背影啦。

植物物語